Everybody Out of the Pool!

Everyone gets really real about loosing weight when they have a big reason to. Mine is an upcoming wedding I am in. All the the other bridesmaids and bride are petite to my 6 foot 2 inches and have little waists and big boobs. Um, again, not so much me! So I got serious about getting in shape. I can't be that one fugly bridesmaid.

So I joined to local YMCA. I have been going for a few weeks to aid in my fitness. I already walk the pups a couple miles most days. It's just so damn hot I wanted to run indoors!

I go today to the Y and get my jog on for a little while. Their treadmills are so badass, they each have flatscreen TVs on them! So I can watch my trashy reality TV shows while I am sweating.

After that I decided I would go for a swim. You know, do some laps. Let me paint the picture...

First off, I am quite tall, so I cam unable to wear a one piece bathing suit. I chose to wear a tankini. Full coverage mind you, but you can see all my tats when I wear it. So I walk out to the pool and take my towel off. All of a sudden there is a hush that comes over the pool. It seems that no one there had ever seen a lady person with a tattoo. My 3, totally not trashy tats seemed to have everyone shocked.

Well, I do an internal eye roll and get in my lane in the pool. I swim around for a while, amidst lots of kids and such. All of a sudden there is a commotion a few lanes over. I hear the "lifeguard" teenager blow his little whistle and tell everyone to get out. I then realize that there is no ladder close to me. And for some stupid reason I left my towel on the deep end (other side). So I decide to do the same thing as everyone else and do a little jump up on the side of the pool as to exit. As jumping up really fast to escape what ever was going on in the pool, My little too loose bottoms creeped down a bit. So everyone that was already whispering about my tattoos got a first hand glimpse of the top inch of my butt crack. Yeah, that is right! And if that was not enough...as I was walking my sinful tattooed ass back to the locker room, I saw what all the commotion was about...

Someone dropped a deuce in the pool.

That's right someone pooped in the swimming pool.

I am now rethinking my swimming habit. Ass crack and poop and all....